My life isnt getting any better now
i have no idea why.

NOTHING is smooth sailing. like i get a 1000 years of unluckyness?

maybe its because its the month of my sis's bday =.=


i cannot stand it.

i seem to be FLARING UP everyday, probably its cause of minor minor acts/problems piling up.

now living in my grandparents place.

i can only say i love my grandpa.

no one in this family knows what i truely want.
they all think " ah he play com only la, just get him a laptop, if not later he black face or what cannot tahan"

in my head i was like "what the @#$@!"
i can live without com for awhile.

but here i am blogging. why?
- MY DAD WENT TO GET A NEW LAPTOP

so should i go hurray i got one?
ppl go say "ahh its just for u"

bullshit.
it aint JUST for me.
i don't wanna hear white lies. its for themselves and my sis
the moment they teach my sis, i dont feel safe anymore.
i mean, its gonna get a virus sooner or later
if she don't understand what i say
how can she understand instructions?!
thats why i'm so afraid of her. she does the "SMART"est things even I cannot think of.

Primary 4. and she still acts like "papa~ i want huggy~" like she is a princess in her fairyland.
gosh... when she can scold words like "_uck" and have "friendship problems"
how did she even become a prefect? act guai lo. thats all i can say.
you don't see all REAL NICE people being prefects nowadays.

and how does it feel like living an everyday life during the HOLIDAYS, u wake up at 4am,5am,6am,7am, and woooo its time to work/study/training. and others blame u for not being awake. while they SNORE SO LOUD. u canNOT sleep.

how do you feel being controlled by 2 control freaks?
1 says "chi bao le ma"
2 say "eat alr?"
1 "ni chi she me le?"
2 "nice?"
1 "hao chi ah?"
2 "so what did you eat?" *points to this* WHY ARE THEY REPEATING IT?!?

thats why i got fed up?


they want you to get good grades, and here they come getting you a laptop and hope u'll make sure u'll control
EVEN THOUGH U SAID U CANNOT CONTROL.

this was quite awhile ago.
they said they gave me a choice ( bullshit, it was an ORDER)
1. go my ahyi place
2. go my gma place stay which i alr am

ok lets see..
at my ah yi house.

There's
-air con
-own room
-prepared dinner
-nearer bustops.
-comp

last but not least

- AT LEAST A TABLE to study

which here all don't have.
and why i am here is cos
-mama say " u want u go there stay alone lo"
-gma 'i wont be happy face'
-they make me feel guilty as though its my fault.

THEY SAID THEY GIMME CHOOSE LEI.

fine. i now here.
i get 2 control freaks.
both thinking they know what's BEST for me.

you know what i want?

I WANT PEACE.
I WANT MY OWN. PERSONAL. TIME.

why cant they give me like an hour to myself.

lets state an example.

i was at my ahyi place..
i said to myself "ahh finally the com. lemme use awhile"
all said "ok"
so i was surfing onemanga.

2minutes only they mom "TREVIS COME FOR DinNER"
and i said. kk.. coming gma"hong zhou ah, chu lai chiii"
i had to leave. so i go eat.

i went back.. read a page, went to the next.
ahyi"trev i tot u want longan? come eat!"

ok. i went to eat.

came back sitdown..
see 2 more page..
"trevis~ papa and uncle buy food, come eat"
and they gimme some pai gu noodles
i said. dad"come son try abit"
*pours all the noodle to the plate for me*
like. WTF

u guys must be thinking. after ur dinner, ur supper here come the next. DINNER.
so i blew up.
" I EAT ALR LA"
uncle "eh here's the dry pai ku, eat eat."
" U NOE WHAT? i've taken my lunch at 4.30, I ate my dinner at 6-7+, Supper which is my longan just now. AND ?BEFORE U ALL GIMME I SAID I FULL ALR, U ALL STILL ASK ME EAT?"

i practically stuff everything and wend back in.

then later.
ahyi"heys still got alot longan. come eat"
bo bian. i go eat again.

and so i eat, i read manga..
and mom"EH SON, go home alr~"


LIKE WAHHH LAO EHS

I CANT FINISH A CHAPTER OF MANGA IN PEACE.

I SHOUTED "CAN GIME 1 HOUR OF PEACE ANOT!"

and they scolded ME!
i noe i mei da mei xiao alr.
but I CANNOT TAHAN.
i have my LIMITS.
arghs.













volleyball matches...
aint that cool for me.
i lost the "feeling" within me. that touch of the ball.
i lost it.
i donno its due to the immense stress coming from my parents or its just me
i have NO energy to think, to feel.

i donno if u guys can understand what i mean.
the stress i am is

i give you a blunt 2b pencil, and an A4 size paper. Help me draw a picture of a dog,cat,mouse,tiger,lion,trex,hamster,racoon,platypus. The background scene is a beach with forest trees. and then, colour it please. make sure the CAT stands out the most. and finish it within 1 hour.

to do a beautiful work of art like this and u don't have ERASER, TABLE, how to do a great piece of work?

ok lets talk bout today.
SS bonding singapore.
what eveyone got equal chance.
if u're poor, u no chance go oversea learning programmes and lose out.
right? crap
if u rich, throw money and u got so many chance of ppl want u in their TV ad's and all. and u'd be famous near ur friends.

wooooohoooooooooooo....
there she goes again.

SEE WHAT I MEAN.
now

my parents just OPEN MY DOOR (without knocking whatsoever)
and then "eh u want over midnite slp then u happy isit"
and give THAT look (guys and girls who have been child before, u noe THOSE look that makes u go ARGH) rite..

i cant even POST this in peace without disturbance. great aint it?

i wish for a thing
i'm not miss universe asking for WORLD peace.

but i just want a PEACE TO MYSELF, 1 hour a day of peace and meditation. thats all i want.. thanks...

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Labels: My Impt Lessons Of My Life